Life after Divorce: Make Your Kids Resilient in Two Homes with These Tips
Life after separation and divorce is not simple, especially when you have kids. Nonetheless, you must be on the same page with your ex-partner for proper co-parenting and help your children handle the transition and cope with the change. After divorcing and moving out, your kids will have two homes. Knowing how to build resilience in the kids is essential to help them survive the change and love the two homes. Here are tips to help you.
Try Resolving without Involving the Court
Divorce involves many things, especially when the kids are in the picture. Such include co-parenting, custody, visitation, child support, etc. It is crucial to be constructive when making negotiations on such matters. Going to court can escalate even the small things and bring more conflict. Therefore, for the sake of the children and their peace of mind, solving the issues without involving the court will be good. Find an affordable divorce attorney to mediate and assist you with the negotiations.
One of the hardest things to do during a divorce is to tell your kids about it. You need to be careful with how you break the news. It will be challenging, but you must do it correctly. Communication doesn’t stop after your kids know about the divorce. Open room for dialogue where kids can express their thoughts and concerns. Sometimes the children may need a third person to talk to them and help them understand that the divorce is not their fault. So, find different ways of encouraging them to open up. Observe them over time to see how they are handling the situation. Even when kids are away, foster communication so that they can continue talking with the other parent. It builds the connection and enhances relationships.
Maintain Quality Relationships
Both parents must maintain quality relationships for the sake of the kids. Irrespective of the reasons for your divorce, allow your kids to love both of you and avoid taking sides. That means encouraging things like engaging with one another, participating in school activities like sports and music, eating together, being available, and doing other things together. Remember, you don’t have to be together to do these things. You can take turns to ensure the children have quality time with both parents.
Don’t Use Kids as Messengers
One of the pettiest things you can do during a divorce is use your children to pass messages to your partner. Once you make the children feel like they are in the middle of the situation, it can bring negative feedback to them. They could blame themselves or view the other parent differently. Therefore, always ensure your communication is between you and your ex-partner.
Consistency is crucial when it comes to co-parenting. You will have different schedules, but consistency will help the kids adjust to the programs in both homes. Once you are consistent, your kids will feel secure when they know what to expect. It will also make it easy to know when they will see their parents. Consistency also gives them control over their environment.
Divorcing is challenging, especially when there are kids to look after. Therefore, now that the kids will have two homes, both parents must devise an effective plan to make their kids resilient.