What makes a good therapist
Friends and family are often asked to refer to healers for support on a range of issues. Since I’ve been a therapist for more than twenty years, and I’ve gotten my treatment at various stages of my life, I take these requests very seriously and think very well before I recommend my fellow therapist. I do this for several reasons.
Going to therapy is a big step. One good step is important. I know it takes a lot of courage to have someone share their story with someone else. Being a therapist is a tremendous privilege. For someone else who trusts us in his story is an enormous task, so referring to another therapist is something that should not be done lightly.
In my own experience, I have seen, and received, wonderful experiences and less benefit from treatment, and this opportunity has given me the opportunity to reflect on my own practice and the experience that I offer to those who come to see me.
In my experience, a good therapist is someone who helps you tell your story and listens well for what is being said, words that are not there, and the distances between the two. With thoughtful questions and kind thinking, a good wizard helps the many layers of your story. Through sympathetic listening and timely presentation of ideas, a good therapist can help their clients think about their emotional pains and reflect on the complex factors that may contribute to this. Often my experience in good therapy is a mixture of a therapist who is not only a good listener but also can ask me questions that make me think differently, which helps me see my story for all its aspects and think more deeply about the changes I want to see regarding this problem. Sometimes a question is asked in a slightly different way, or an opportunity to see a situation that has been remodeled in a different way can have a wonderful ripple effect of change that may not have been accessible in the past.
A good therapist rarely gives the mask to advise, stops negative judgment and creates emotional safety.
What about “less than useful” treatment? In my experience, a therapist who can only provide manual therapy may not be able to tolerate the complexity of your story. The therapist who seems busy, uninterested, or bothersome with everything that comes to you is not your treatment. If the therapist rushes with sudden advice or judgments, he is unlikely to be able to take the journey with you in the long run. The processor may also not be useful.
It must also be said that sometimes, the therapist who has been helpful in the past may not be the “right” therapist for you in the future. Our needs are changing. Sometimes we outperform our processor and we need a new processor that offers a different approach to reach a new stage of growth. “Fit to fit” problems may occur. There is a good therapist open to exploring this with you, and regularly asks how to find treatment, and if he or she can offer something different to you. If the therapist is sensitive and self-aware, he can start these conversations with you perfectly and enable the treatment to get back on the right track.
Therapy, when done well, has the potential to provide a platform to explore your feelings and your vision of change. Finding the right therapist who can make this space available to you is not only beneficial but necessary, as your journey begins to grow.
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