Conflicts are part of everyone’s lives. Yes, you may avoid conflicts but you need to know what to do when they happen. Here are some of the best ways to help you deal with conflicts.
Conflicts are natural and they happen in every relationship. Since they are unavoidable, you need to learn how to manage them when they happen. If there is a conflict, it’s a sign that you need to change something. It’s an opportunity for growth, improved communication and new understanding. Note that conflict can’t be resolved unless it is addressed with the right person. The King’s College can give you tips on how to deal with conflict.
Be A Calming Agent
It doesn’t matter if you are dealing with your conflict or a sounding board for your friend. Your response to the conflict can decrease or escalate the intensity of the issue at hand. You need to be calm and provide a neutral or objective point of view. You can come up with a plan on how to work with the other individual to find the best resolution for your issues.
You need to work through your feelings and identify the specific problem and the impact it might be having on you.
Model Neutral Language
During a conflict, most people use inflammatory language such as name-calling, profanity and exaggerations that often escalate the conflict. You should restate any inflammatory language in an objective way to make sure that the information is not loaded with emotions and will be useful for future discussions.
Separate The Person From The Problem
You need to view the problem at hand as a specific behavior or circumstances instead of attaching negative feelings to the entire person. As such, the problem becomes more manageable and hopeful. It’s much better than deciding that you can’t stand the person any longer.
Here, you should stop blaming the other person and take ownership of the problem. Start working together and listen to each other to solve the conflict at hand.
Agree To Disagree
Every person has a different point of view and will not agree on everything. It’s not important to always be right. When managing conflict, seeking the truth can trap you instead of setting you free. Truth is always relative to a particular person’s point of view.
Focus On The Future
When arguing with someone, you are likely going to remember every single thing that bothered you about the person you are arguing with. Most people will vent about the past and will dwell on the past. You need to recognize that besides the past, you need to have a plan to address the current issues and anything that might arise in the future.
You need to be creative enough to find a solution that works for everyone. Don’t work on avoiding conflict or maintaining harmony. You need to think outside the box for the best results.
When solving a problem, you need to be very specific. Everyone should understand what to do and how to move forward. Make sure you clarify any ambiguous terms that different people might interpret differently.
When in a conflict, you should deal directly with the person you are arguing with. Don’t vent to other people since this will fuel the rumor mills. Work out a plan to end any gossip about your conflicts.