How to say “no” if you have already said “yes
The decision is not always worth changing, and if you still need to do it, saying no and maintaining a normal relationship will help with simple steps. By the way, if you are still looking for a strong relationship,christian free dating site will help you with it.
Imagine a colleague approaches you in the middle of the workday and offers to chair a community service committee. Without further thought, you instantly agree. What is there to think about, it’s such a great opportunity!
A week passes. And now you are sitting at your laptop with your work email open, and your calendar has no room for the most essential things. Suddenly you realize that you overestimated your strengths and need to give up before it’s too late. But you’ve already said yes. And now what to do?
Saying “no” is always difficult. Especially after you have confidently said yes. Maybe you’re worried that you will ruin relations with the team or you will be considered unreliable.
If you recognize yourself, you may find the very thought of reneging on a promise and then dealing with disappointment or even anger unbearable. Such reactions are not surprising.
A study by American scientists has shown that for our brains, there is no difference between social rejection and physical pain. That’s why we go all the way, gritting our teeth and closing our eyes to our desires. Such tactics rarely work because we are stressed and those around us feel our alienation.
It does not matter if you have taken on your shoulders too much work or just changed your mind, you can come out of any such situation with dignity, and not only not to damage your reputation, but also to preserve good relations with others. Simple steps will help in this.
Before you say no, reconsider the situation and make sure you’re making the right decision. Evaluate the opportunities you’re missing.
Let’s say you agreed to participate in a new project with your boss, and now you’re not sure if it’s for you. Think about how worthwhile the project could be to you. If participating in it will open many doors for you and give you new skills, experience, and an impressive line on your resume, it might be worth your effort and energy. However, if your pledge hurts your main job or personal life badly, rejection is likely the right choice.
Look at the situation from a different angle.
If you’re worried that your “no” will make people think you’re unreliable, consider this: Isn’t starting a project knowing you can’t finish it just as irresponsible?
You may be showing yourself to be generous and responsive by accepting an offer. But cheating on someone else’s trust will not strengthen your relationship with others. By refusing in advance, you demonstrate important virtues, such as honesty, the ability to prioritize, and sound judgment, which are the qualities of a true leader.
Be polite, but honest.
When it’s time for that very conversation, be assertive and clear about your refusal. For example, to refuse the position of head of the community service committee would be:
“When I accepted the job last month, I was sure I could handle it perfectly. But then I looked closely at my schedule and realized that I had put too many things on my shoulders that could not be rescheduled or canceled. Unfortunately, I will not be able to keep my promise.
This explanation can help your interlocutor better accept your decision. But you can express the rejection even more simply:
“I know we had an agreement that I would chair the community service committee, but when I agreed, I didn’t expect to have a major new work project waiting for me. Because of this, I have to turn it down.
In a situation where you were asked for a favor by your boss, this wording would work:
“I have considered my priorities and capabilities and realized that this project will not allow me to perform my primary job duties at a high level. Both for me and the team, the best way out is for me to respectfully change my mind and decline.”
Be prepared to apologize and take responsibility for your decision and any misunderstandings. After all, you were counted on and may have even made serious plans for your initial agreement. You could say:
“I am sorry for the inconvenience of my refusal. I appreciate that this opportunity was offered to me, and I hope your endeavor succeeds. It would be great if you would keep me informed.”
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Offer an alternative.
If you want to help but just don’t have the time, offer to change the schedule or reschedule the project to a better time for you. For example:
“I’ve checked my schedule and I have to decline the offer for now. But please don’t rule me out. Maybe we’ll get in touch in a few months?”
Try to recommend another person for the position offered to you or professionals and resources to help solve the problem and get the project done.
Rejecting your promises is always uncomfortable, but important lessons can be learned from this situation. It may even help you break the typical desire to please everyone, which is another step on the road to success.
Use this experience as a launching pad. Start being more judicious about what is worth agreeing to and what is better to ignore. Only say yes to opportunities that you can’t wait to pursue and that you have time for.