It was Patrick Hamilton who came out with the term ‘Gaslight’ in his 1938 play with the same name. However, the word ‘Gaslight’ got famous with the 1944 movie ‘Gaslight’ in which husband Gregory challenges his wife Paula’s version of reality.
Gregory makes Paula believe that she is listening to and seeing things that do not exist where they did exist in reality. The movie is all about how Gregory manipulates Paula at various instances and compels her to accept that she’s going insane.
Also Read: Gaslighting Examples in Movies
Much like this movie, women are typically assumed to be the victims of their gaslighting partners. However, women too can be the perpetrators and can gaslight each other.
Many times, a woman who is a friend or family to another woman can gaslight the other. When it comes to dramas, movies, or fiction books having gaslighting as the theme, it is women who are shown to be manipulated or controlled by men.
But gaslighters can be both men or women. Accordingly, the one being manipulated can be both men and women.
Likewise, be it intimate relationships, friendship, workplace, or home, a woman can gaslight another woman.
Also Read: Examples of gaslighting in relationships
Women Also Can Gaslight
Many times, a woman who considers another woman as her best friend can be gaslighted by her best friend. Stephanie Moulton Sarkis, the author of the book “Gaslighting” calls such friends as frenemies.
So, you as a woman may be friendly with another woman. But such a woman may do things that may irritate you and may make you feel exhausted. She may try to manipulate you and is like an emotional vampire who wants to know everything disgusting happening in your life.
These emotional vampires draw the energy out of you and are all about her achievements. These women consider your achievements to be nothing against their own achievements.
They will always make you feel that the work you do is trivial. Since she knows about
Such a woman pays little attention when you try to say something good about your life. She may see you as her competition and would not be able to see you gaining success.
Such women friends are of the belief that there is a dearth of opportunities in the world. So, if you get a good opportunity your way, it reduces their chances of succeeding in life. Also, they thrive on the bad things happening in your life.
Further, they love to gossip about you and even lie about you to others. This is because your frenemy gets pleasure as she feels powerful. Alos, she will pit you against other friends or family as she wants to convince you of the fact that she is the only good friend you have.
Also Read: Gaslighting in Friendship
Why are Women Typically Considered as Victims of Gaslighting?
The answer to this is simple. Our culture plays an important role here. Since the beginning, women have had limited options when it comes to responding to violence coming their way.
Women are always taught to not give an eye to a man who tries to show his malintent towards them. Instead, women are asked to simply walk away keeping their eyes down instead of fighting back.
Similarly, women are asked not to wear provocative clothes or are advised to leave from a place where a man is trying to seduce them in place of stopping the man.
Thus, to deal with such situations and defend themselves, women have over the years developed their emotional and social skills. Instead of fighting back, they put a smile on their face and try to simply walk away to prevent irritating the man who misbehaves. This is to save themselves from any severe consequences.
Since Women Can’t Fight Back, They Gaslight Each Other
Let’s understand that women cannot adopt an eye-for-an-eye attitude with men who abuse them. As a result, they have become adept at these psychological tactics.
Whenever a woman tries to make the other woman feel powerless, jealous or convince her that all women are ultimately fighting for limited opportunities in terms of love, work, etc, she tries to use manipulative practices against the other woman.
Yes, women gaslight each other. They try to mould the truth to show themselves in a good light or gain power. Or simply to prove that they are right and their other women friends are wrong. As women, we challenge the version of reality of our women friends simply to compel them to believe that what they are saying is insignificant. And that what we are saying is what they should believe and buy.
We challenge their version of reality and in a way tell them that they can’t trust their mind.
Common Tactics Used By Women to Gaslight Other Women
Women gaslighting other women are very good at splitting and lying. They intentionally pit their women friends against each other and mould the truth to show themselves in a good light.
Likewise, these women love to gossip about their female friends. In fact, such women thrive on gossip because this gives them immense power.
So, it’s not just the men who are gaslighting women. There are women gaslighting other women too.
