Every emotional relationship needs affection, tenderness, and warmth to strengthen the bond. But, unfortunately, this necessity of emotional relationship can be twisted and manipulated, if you are in the hands of covert narcissist. To survive an emotional relationship with a covert narcissist is extremely challenging because, apparently they look generous and empathic, but deep down, and they are toxic and manipulative. Unlike overt narcissist, they show their toxicity in a more subtle and deceptive way.
Covert narcissists are skilled manipulator who gaslight their partners in order to dominate, control, and command. There are many notorious things convert narcissist say in an argument to gaslight their partner’s feelings and emotions. They appear very close to you, but they are manipulative to the extent that you question yourself. In a romantic relationship they tempted to have excessive admiration and a great sense of entitlement to ease their emotional tolls.
Specifically, in the love bombing stage, covert narcissists engage others with excessive narcissist supply of affection, attention, and compliments. Their intention is to swiftly form a strong emotional bond, ultimately to gain control over your feelings. However, not all covert narcissists are same, some are less manipulative than others. So, if you have a covert narcissist lover, it is a time to take some notice. But, you should not worry about their subtle behaviour because we are here to help you. Here are some of things convert narcissist say in an argument to manipulate their partners.
- You are my absolute partner
As per habits of a covert narcissist, they idealize their partners who are ready to be devoted to them. Covert narcissists are desperate enough to be extremely loved and admired, and for encountering this desperation saying “I Love You”, is the most favourable tactic for them. It is a manipulative tactic to gain trust and admiration from their partner, however, their primary concern is to maintain their self-esteem and well-being. For covert narcissist manipulating the partner apparently seems valuable and to show prestige towards him/her, but the things covert narcissists say in an argument expose their true intention of idealizing their partner. In this way, at first they statiate their narcissistic thirst, and then also prove the love to their partner.
2. Please do not leave me alone
Covert narcissists can be very difficult to be around. Their abusive, and manipulative argument techniques can break the relationship in no time. The blatant things covert narcissists say in an argument is emotionally charged that they let a person back from their opinion. Through their behaviour they evoke feelings of guilt, pity, and responsibility in their partner in order to prioritize the narcissist’s needs. The emotions of fear and abandonment make the narcissist have an argument with their partner to secure the relationship they have. Hence, they used the manipulative strategy to stop them from taking any decision.
3. You are getting me wrong
Covert narcissist knows how to prove themselves true and negate other people’s opinion. In relationships, they victimize themselves to gain sympathy and affection while refusing to understand and learn from their behaviors. The things covert narcissists say in an argument devise the blame game and the responsibility where the partner doubts their own judgment and feelings. By suggesting that their partner is misunderstanding, the covert narcissist takes advantage of their partner’s feelings and emotional reactions. In the end, we can say that covert narcissists do not take responsibility for their bad behavior rather they prove themselves fair in order to take attention and affection from their partner.
4. Do not play with my feelings
This manipulative statement by a covert narcissist is a tactic to maintain control and power in the relationship. It shows that narcissist is getting intentionally hurt by their partner’s behaviors, which ultimately turns the conversation from the real topic to the feelings of guilt and silence. The main purpose of the clash which comprises of many unhealthy thing covert narcissists say in an argument to gain advantage and an attempt to manipulate their partners. The phrase “Do not play with my feelings”, asserts control and power on the partner which makes it difficult for them to express feelings and emotions to their partners.
5. You are doubting me
As we know convert narcissists are manipulators, who have a deep-rooted feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem which they mask very well. The feelings of doubt by covert narcissist pressures the partner to conform to the narcissist’s wishes, avoid confrontation, or cater to the narcissist’s emotional needs, which are all linked to the sense of control and admiration. Hence, things covert narcissists say in an argument is utterly manipulative to evoke feelings of insecurity which cause their partner to question their own judgment and behavior.
6. Trust me
Covert narcissists use the tactic of trust and accountability to seek the partner’s intention. It is necessary to notice that the things covert narcissist say in an argument is always dubious and manipulative. The demand for trust from their partner is a way to gain control and manipulate the partner’s thinking and actions. In short, they try to make their partner accountable for their behavior that is unreasonable for them.
7. I want the best for us
This statement by a covert narcissist is of great flaw because they are solely made for themselves. Covert narcissist say this to deflect from their own actions or desires in a romantic relationship. The manipulative behavior of doing the best subtly blames their partners who stand in their way. Hence, keeping in view the fragile self-esteem the things covert narcissists say in an argument shifts the subject to emotional dealing, which is the core of their behaviour.
8. I am not controlling you
Covert narcissists are highly secretive and are vulnerable to their weaknesses. They show their aggressive behaviour while speaking softly to you. They may say that they are not controlling their partner, but as they are manipulative, they do exert control over their partners. The things covert narcissists say in an argument validate that their partner is mistaken, and challenge their emotions in order to restrict them from expressing their emotions.
Final Thoughts
It is very important to differentiate between healthy relationship and unhealthy relationship. If your partner is narcissist, it is very difficult to spot at first, but if you are aware of some things covert narcissists say in an argument, it becomes easier for you to determine that your partnercan go to any length to win an argument in a romantic relationship. They mislead their partners through manipulative tactics to protect their fragile self-esteem.
Covert narcissists are in a habit to satisfy their self-grandoise and has a great sense of self to win in an argument. Their interest is to put all blame on partner to deflect attention off from his shortcomings.
Hence, dealing with a covert narcissist in a romantic relationship can be emotionally draining. Their manipulation traits during arguments can destroy the overall health of the relationship. So, it is essential for the partner of a covert narcissist to recognize these behaviors, set healthy boundaries, and consider seeking professional help to avoid toxicity in the relationship.
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