Everyone knows that relationships are dicey but some patterns highlight that not only is this relationship challenging it is absolutely toxic. A toxic relationship is not one in which a fight or two happens, once in a while: such are the traits of any partnership. Relationship toxicity however is behaviour and dynamics that can negatively affect your emotional well-being on a larger scale. These are 5 red flags that your relationship is toxic. If any of these resonate with you, it might be a good idea to consider professional help or setting firmer boundaries.
1. You Find You’re Always Making Excuses for Your Partner
When someone truly cares for you, their actions align with respect, honesty, and mutual support. If you often find yourself covering up or making excuses for your partner’s behavior, you might be rationalizing away harmful conduct. This can range from explaining their temper, irresponsibility, or even neglectful behavior. Over time, constantly defending these actions to yourself and others can lead to emotional exhaustion. If you feel the need to justify behaviors that make you uncomfortable, it’s a sign that something deeper may be wrong.
Excusing toxic behavior doesn’t help it disappear; rather, it can enable a pattern where toxic actions are repeated. Recognizing this pattern can be the first step to reclaiming a sense of accountability and self-worth within the relationship.
2. You’re More and More Isolated from Your Friends
Our relationships are deeply connected with our happiness, from friendships to connections and everything else. But in a toxic relationship, the partner tries to turn the other one away from friends and family. Some time that isolation can manifest is by trying to discourage you from spending time with certain individuals, throwing shade on friends or creating a logical wall in your head not wanting to see loved ones.
This can make it more difficult to gain an objective perspective on the relationship as you come to feel more and more alienated from the rest of society. When friends and family drop everything to be there for you, it puts things back into perspective: You matter. If you are noticing that your social circle is getting smaller because of the relationship, this is an intentional move by your partner for control. As long as you connect with a strong support network, your mind will be perfectly healthy.
3. Your Self-Esteem is Going Down
The detrimental effects a poisonous relationship has on your self-esteem can be conviction one of the most painful indicators. A partner who supports you is a person who builds you up and encourages you to explore your passions, dreams, and aspirations. A toxic partner, however, might put you down, criticize you and generally bring you one step down to their miserable life. It can start slow with little jibes at you or a hint that you’re not “enough” for some things, but then it builds on itself.
As your self-esteem takes a hit, you may wonder if maybe there was something that you deserved or earned as a way of the world giving back to you for all the bad things. In some cases, people in toxic relationships start to forget their success, their strengths or even who they are. If you find yourself in a downward spiral of how you see yourself, then it becomes time to take a step back and assess the relationship that is making you feel that way.
4. You Doubt Your Feelings About Situations
In toxic relationships, you can feel this trick that is called gaslighting to manipulate someone so deeply that he/she begins to doubt their reality. For example, raise a specific issue bothering you and your partner dismisses it COMPLETELY or says youre “imagining things” or it never happened. This gradually accumulates and makes you question yourself, wondering if a normal human emotion deserves a response as though you are walking on eggshells with your partner.
Seeing your emotions and perceptions invalidated frequently can cause you to be more wary of trusting your gut. You might end up feeling like you are depending too heavily on your partner’s narrative, and may even go so far as to blame yourself for arguments or problems that arise. We need to AWARENESS of this manipulation. Trusting in your emotions and perspective is at the center of any healthy relationship, and if within one you are constantly made to feel as though either or both can be dismissed, then that is something that should ring alarm bells.
5. Your Partner Says You’re Too Sensitive
Oh, statements such as you take things too seriously or Oh come on; you are overreacting here are subtle yet almost extremely effective means to belittle someone’s feelings. In healthy relationships, partners do something different: they try to understand each other. Often, if a partner is constantly telling you that you are being “too sensitive,” it means they do not want to take accountability for their actions and/or they do not want the conversation to continue.
The act of dismissing your feelings can make you feel that the emotions themselves are excessive or irrational and as a result suppress how you may naturally react to any given circumstance. But it is a great disservice to bury our emotions and over time, that can be very damaging. Now not only does it obstruct constructive and respectful interaction however it can additionally detach you from your very own wishes and desires.
What to Do Next?
If you identify with any of the above signs then it is time to take action towards taking care of yourself. It can affect your mental health if you are in a toxic relationship, however it is difficult to cut off such relationship or build up distance. Engaging a professional can help guide you towards clarity, as well as support you through the entire process.
If this describes you take the next step toward healing and talk to a licensed counselor who specializes in relationship issues. Learning how to have confidence and realizing your worth can help make you feel empowered enough so that you start making decisions that will benefit your mental health and emotional state.
See All in the Family counselling for more details on where to obtain therapy.
