Love is probably the most powerful emotion we have, and our need to be loved by someone is one of the strongest needs. When you are in an intimate relationship it makes you feel connected not only to your partner but to the world. When you are filled with love you become kinder, empathetic and patient.
But keep in mind that all relationships have their through phases, and with those come some challenges that you have to overcome. When you feel that your relationship is going through a rough spot, take some time to figure it out. You don’t make great relationships by just being lucky. You need to gain specific skills and take actions that will straighten your relationship.
Don’t Take One Another For Granted
Taking each other for granted is possibly the worst thing that you can do in a relationship. Once you are comfortable with each other, it’s really easy to do so. Even though for some it’s just human nature, it should never come to take the other person for granted. Respecting your partner no matter what is the key to having a stable relationship. It is important that you don’t assume things and that you try and do nice things for them whenever you can.
Compliment Your Partner
If you are in a long term relationship you can start lacking on complimenting your partner. And when that happens, both of you will start to feel unappreciated. After some time the whole relationship will become clouded by lack of appreciation. Because of that, it is very important that you compliment your partner every day for the smallest things they do. Nothing will make your part happier than being complimented for something they deserve.
Accept that Disappointment Will Happen
It is normal to be disappointed when your expectations don’t and can’t match reality. You and your partner will have different expectations. That means that disappointment will happen no matter what. We usually focus on the negative and we try to use evidence to reinforce the belief that every relationship is filled with disappointment. Instead of making it worse, accept that it will happen. Choose paths that fulfil your expectations.
Don’t Be Passive-aggressive
Being passive-aggressive might come naturally, but it’s damaging. Every time you stall, refuse to participate or ignore them you are being passive-aggressive. For a relationship to survive it is important that it becomes an “us against the world” commitment instead of it being you versus your partner.
Let Go of the Need to Fix or Change Your Partner
You need to know that you cannot change anyone except yourself. The sooner you accept that as truth, the faster you and your partner will start to heal and grow closer. Everyone longs for being loved for who they truly are. You need to focus on changing, fixing and improving yourself instead of trying to fix your partner.
Be Fully Present In the Moment
There is a big difference in being in the room together and being present in the moment. Just as there is a large difference between listening and hearing. When you are listening to your partner, don’t just assume you already know what your partner thinks. Be understanding and respectful about what is going on in their life.
Make Your Partner Feel Loved and Respected
Because we are all different, all of us have things that make us happy, loved and respected. Someone needs to be told that they are loved by many times every day and someone likes to get flowers or reserve sweet messages while they are at work. If you live in a busy city like Sydney, you may not have time to go out and buy flowers. But that doesn’t mean that you can surprise your partner with beautiful flowers. Find a place that does flowers delivery in Sydney and surprise your partner. Don’t find it hard to do small things that might make your partner feel loved.
Think About Your Damaging Cycles
People in relationships often fall into damaging patterns. The most common one is the pursuer/withdrawer cycle. One person will nag, attack or provoke a reaction from the other one. Then the other person will be passive-aggressive, withdraw or leave to avoid any discomfort. In most cases that leads into the first person pursuing more and driving the second person deeper into withdrawal. They only way out of it is by talking it out, say everything that’s bothering you and start working on solutions for all the problems.
Stay True to Your Word
Trust is the key to having a stable relationship. When you share something or do something, your partner will trust you that it is true. It is normal to change your mind but when that happens you need to catch your partner up with it. That will allow your partner to change and grow with you.
Respect Yourself and Express Your Feelings Openly
You have to be comfortable to say what you feel and think. If you are building your relationship on false information it will soon fall apart. Strong relationships are solely based on trust and respect for each other which can only happen if you are both always honest with each other.
A Lot of people misunderstand what forgiveness really means. It doesn’t mean that you are giving permission for someone to mistreat you. It means that you are accepting that your partner is doing the best that he can. Forgiveness means that you are coming to letting go of the thing that hurt you and that you are allowing the new possibilities that are to come.
Partners have to learn to balance their needs as a person and those that come with being in a
relationship. It is important that you don’t just stay at one end of the spectrum, you need to have some separate friendships and interests from your partner. While you should function as one, you can live with each other’s lives and be together 24/7.